Last Saturday, Bradley passed his written driving test and got his temps. Holy Cow!!! All four of my children are driving now. How did that happen? A few weeks ago, he stole the ball in his basketball game and dunked it.
Also last weekend, Zachary shot his first turkey while hunting with his uncle Jimmy, Kevin's brother. The event was bitter-sweet without Kevin being there to celebrate with us. When I saw the below photos, I cried because I was awestruck by how much Zack reminded me of his dad.
Kellie is struggling to find full time employment. She really wants to be able to move out on her own. I have to give her credit for all the maturing she's done these past few months. She has devoted a lot of time looking for a new job without much luck and she hasn't given up. She's stopped certain activities that aren't good for her, realized the importance of having a good driving record, learned who her real friends are and has goals for the future.
Kristie moved out a few weeks ago with her boyfriend. She, too, is desperately trying to land a full time job without any luck. But, she keeps trying. Our relationship has been so much better lately and that makes me very happy.
As for me, I'm still dating Tim.
© 2012 by Jennifer M. Karn
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3 comments:
Is it just me or does Tim strongly resemble Kevin? I wish you happiness in your new relationship. I know that Kevin can never be replaced. But it does seem that your pain is less intensive and piercing. I hope that for myself someday. It will be four months tomorrow that my husband died. I am older...together for 43 years, married for over 41 of those. I don't ever anticipate dating and that is okay. I can't imagine that. But I do hope the extreme grief will let up a little. I had a dream last night and my husband was in it. He said he could not stay much longer at the place we were because he had to go because he was really dead. One of my favorite uncles who had died 29 years ago was also in the dream. They both commented that they could not stay, that they had to go because they had already died. The mind is a strange thing. My first dream about my husband was about a month ago. He was late getting home from work and did not call. I could not reach him on his cell phone. And then I woke up.....and the reality of my life hit me. This just sucks.
Dear Anonymous,
You are not the first person to think that Tim resembles Kevin. His sister, friends, even my oldest daughter have all said the same thing. I honestly don't see it. My guess is that that goatee draws people's attention. Either way, it's ok. We all have 'tastes' in partners and mine hasn't changed just because Kevin died. I actually find it to be a compliment. I have great taste is men ;)
And, yes, I'm feeling much better than I did a year ago, but it's still very hard. I struggle daily with my emotions. It gets better over time to deal with, but it's no easy task.
Thank you for reading and thank you even more for your post. I, too, wish you peace and happiness. I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say because this just sucks!
All I wish is for you to become a complete person. I know you are much stronger now.
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