If you click here, you will read a well written, interesting, and quite accurate blog about needing versus wanting a man.
Even though she accurately depicted the definition between the two, and I feel the same way as her, I also believe women need men and men need women for the same reasons they want each other.
We learn in second grade the fundamental differences between wants and needs. But, how different are they really? We're human beings. Sure, we need food and water and sunlight, but don't we need human companionship? Don't we need to procreate in order to avoid extinction?
I still can't picture myself dating or remarrying, but that doesn't mean I will never change my mind. I suppose I could live the rest of my life without a man, but that could be very lonely...or not.
Will I die without another man? No. I have a much better chance of dying because of the heartache from losing the one I had.
Copyright 2010 by Jennifer M. Karn
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Alone
Saturday evening I went out to dinner and a movie...alone. I couldn't help but be very aware of the chair next to me at the restaurant.
As I sat at the bar eating my soup and salad, I noticed the place was overflowing with happy couples. Young couples. Old couples. Married couples. Couples newly in love. I often wonder what the hostess thinks when she asks, "How many tonight?" and I respond, "One."
I'm ok with eating alone and seeing a movie alone. I've learned to do things alone. I've learned to be alone. Since I can't be with Kevin, I prefer to be alone. I am determined to stay alone until I'm ready to not be alone.
The mind and heart need time to heal. Mine just happens to need to heal alone.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
As I sat at the bar eating my soup and salad, I noticed the place was overflowing with happy couples. Young couples. Old couples. Married couples. Couples newly in love. I often wonder what the hostess thinks when she asks, "How many tonight?" and I respond, "One."
I'm ok with eating alone and seeing a movie alone. I've learned to do things alone. I've learned to be alone. Since I can't be with Kevin, I prefer to be alone. I am determined to stay alone until I'm ready to not be alone.
The mind and heart need time to heal. Mine just happens to need to heal alone.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, October 1, 2010
Bullshit
It's bullshit that I became a widow at the age of 34.
It's bullshit that my four kids do not have a father.
It's bullshit that I had to be alone on what should've been my 19th wedding anniversary.
It's bullshit that I get a pit in my stomach every Friday after work because I know the next two and a half days will be filled with empty sadness.
It's bullshit that I can't make a decision.
It's bullshit that I'll see him again.
It's bullshit that I'm completely unhappy with my life and it has no meaning.
It's bullshit that I'm already dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It's bullshit that I stress about going to the cemetery.
It's bullshit that he, me and the kids got robbed.
It's bullshit that I dream about him instead of dream with him.
It's bullshit that I have to stay behind and suffer.
It's bullshit that I struggle to be around his family without crying.
It's bullshit that "God needed another angel."
It's bullshit that his brother-from-another-mother is broken-hearted.
It's bullshit that my kids can't say, "Happy Father's Day!"
It's bullshit he died at the age of 40.
It's bullshit he's gone when we need him so badly.
It's bullshit that he's watching over us.
It's bullshit that nothing will every be the same again.
It's bullshit that I'm imprisoned in this bullshit and I can't get out.
Copyright 2010 by Jennifer M. Karn
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